late but wonderful Christmas dinner

Went to Elaine and Bruce house tonight for christmas dinner, which I enjoy quite a lot. Irene even said I looks kind of drunk :P I don't know how I behave. I just felt very nice talking to them, they are really very nice couple. I just felt myself more relaxed and can think quick and talk. Eat chocolate fundu first time today, really sweet and cool. Maybe I'll bring them home next time. My grandpa will definitely like it :) Mentioned also about library science during the talk. Yeah, I should think seriously about this as my further study now, as I hope to work in an academic and learning environment.

Yaroslav went to climbing today, he seemed quite excited about that. I think that's good for his mood and also for the training of different part of muscles. He is really great. But hope it won't be any dangerous of that, especially with Chef mountain.

email to Ge

Now, I really agree with that great saying: "If you want to do something perfect, then you can never get it started" 总想给你写一封很长很长的信，但不是没有时间，或者没有心情，或者没有勇气，呵呵

所以， 今天终于决定写点什么. thanks for you comfort. I do feel not very nice these days, but it only takes time to recover. so I am fine.

又一年过去了，好快。 It's quite a different year! I had a totally different experience this year mostly because of I am the executive of CSSA. Feeling exhausted and tired although I will never say I feel regret to be the executive of CSSA. A brand new life. I met a lot of celebrities in Vancouver , from consulate of Chinese Embassy, the administer of British Columbia, to the famous artist, poet, host of TV andvery successful businessman, those people that I would never meet in the ivory tower. I am exposed more to new/ old students and immigrants' life... And I realized, the world outside can be so splendid and so different. So many attractions outside. You really gonna talk to different people and behave differently, which is very hard. University make me feel safe still.

Sometimes, I do have the sense of achievement when you can really direct and organized or even be a host of a whole perfomance, party or events. But I can never enjoy any events of CSSA thoughout the whole year, since as you feel so many responsibles there that you can not really relax and enjoy. Quite a lot times, I feel I don't behave myself. But what is myself? At the same time, I was moved and inspired strongly by some Chinese in Vancouver. You feel you love china so strongly sometime. We had a election for CSSA 2005, I am so happy that I will finally be done after the Gala for Spring fest2005. I can finally have a rest and concerntrate on research. And I should and could take sometime to love myself.

Maybe because of tired and don't really have somebody that I want to share with, I also don't feel like to celebrate christmas. So I decided to refuse any activities and stay at home, cleaning my room and mood. But people kept interrupting me, and say such a poor girl, you should go out and have fun. Really annoying... Why people always think that you can never enjoy if you are with yourself? I think the opposite. No snow but rain this Chirstmas, so a Wet Christmas, but hoping a white new year!

Yesterday , my current roommate, not Wu Kun, said to me, I really should be a good match of foreign boyfriend , I'm too simple for Chinese. Lost... again....

今天去了温哥华一个很有个性的小岛, 很喜欢那里的小店风格(食草堂有一天或许会在那里有分店， 所以你也一定会喜欢的 :))， 有些像上海的酒吧区， 但又更贴近自然。空气很清新，海港里停靠了许多私家的游艇和赛船。很多肥硕的海鸥飞来飞去, 对面的岸上是温哥华的市中心高楼林立。 忽然发现自己开始一点一点喜欢温哥华now.

就像你在贺卡里写的， 好希望有一天我们能够一起来到这个小岛，一起听鸟声看落日！

写得乱七八糟,将就着看吧, 希望会慢慢条理 in the future.

还是会时时想念你， 洋


On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 20:34:31 +0800 (CST) shuiqingzi@etang.com wrote:
> 知道你今天打电话祝我圣诞快乐了，那会我正在游泳呢，所以你是找不到我了。不管怎样，总的说来，这个圣诞节已经过去了。不喜欢过节。
> 听兆一说你美国被拒的事了。算了，人有时候作出一些选择，就要付出一些代价。最起码，现在来的还算早。而且很多事情，焉知福祸呢？也许现在吃这么一次亏，反倒在将来因为这次亏而获更大的益。

Yaroslav

Went to visit Yaroslav just now, not only because of Irene's quest when she's leaving, but also I do want to help him out. He is always the person I respect a lot. Well balanced and a true man! So I'm very happy even if I can help a little for him. He is such an excellent guy , but ...C'est la vie!

Come back from him, thinking my little failure make me so depressed, while he can stand and challenge his limit in such a difficult situation. I should stand up, and should be stronger !

Just got Kun and Ming's phone call, so nice of them. Yes, I need to treat everything carefully and seriously. Not just waiting for luck. Good luck never comes easy!

Rythm Of Falling Rain

US Visa Rejected today... When I saw the VO stamped hard on my passport, I just can't belive my eyes. All my friends have passed, I never ever expect this rejection will happen on me? I took it too much for granted. The check and the things I left last year had such a powerful impact on today , even on the future! Too hard! Sometimes, I believe all these are doomed. Too pessismitate? Don't know. I always think that I'm an optimistic person, maybe too much just go to another extreme?

Grass is growing.... fully everywhere! Trying to clean the room, to clean my mood. Feeling myself like a snail now, just want to hide in my own little shell and relax. I just found out that I forget long time ago how to relax. Just relax the way people think it' s relax. But is it the real relaxation for me? Can not do anything, not even writing, talking, crying... very pale now...

A big day in my life: 'Never ever took anything for granted! ' When you decide to do, you need to do it fully with your heart.

Rythm of falling rain might not be a good title for above written, but I will have it here...

balanced / unbalanced?---lost...

I shouldn't feel like this. My recent life is really very unbalanced, very very low efficient. People say , you should love yourself first , then be able to love others. Looking back these days, I spend too much time not doing research, maybe this is an important reason that I feel unbalanced. Actually I do love my research topic, although I didn't know how to get it started really. My impatience may be one of the main reason for my status in research now, I always expect a lot from reading very few papers.

For the department's party, I do feel the sense of achievement and proud of our Chinese people, especially when the professors can be such coorporative. It's my first time conduct a choir, but everybody finally did a very very good job. I am really very happy to find our Chinese can be so united. What's more, I got the chance to introduce them to our Vancouver's Chinese choir. Find some very good and passinate singers. I've also sung 4 interesting and traditional Christmas song with our international choir. 4 hours effort, not bad. I should admit that some of them are really very very professional, which can only be found from Chinese people that come from music school. But here it is so natural. Maybe that is one part in China's education that really need to be improved. Really thanks the "Music Fundametals " music class and my dear friend Irene. I now feel much much more comfortable with music and singing. :)

Seems all my big achievements this semester are connected with singing. Finally get the 'Chinese students choir across vancouver' set up. That's my biggest achievement in CSSA 2004. I am really happy about that. And working with the consulate, the music prof. and the host , different types of people is really a special experience. I did learn a lot from them. Got to be the host for the Choir event too. A new trial for me, ha!

Sometimes I just feel I'm responsible for this thing, so I have to do it, then I do it. What most of the time I enjoy is that every other people are having fun.

But... but after all the activities are gone, I feel kind of empty, kind of similar as Irene said. I now just have the strong desire to read some books in a quite night together with a man that I love, who also loves me...

I should love myself first! Care what I really care.

Lyrics of old songs

Singing 6 songs altogether today, exsausted.... But don't know why , still have so much interest in lyrics translation. Ok, let it be ....

Haha, just for fun, translate the chinese song " 听妈妈将过去的事情"，　＂康定情歌＂，which will be sung in tomorrow's party.　a very productive work with "Rabbit" :)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Title: Listen to mom telling stories of her days

It describe a quiet and beautiful summer evening in the countryside.
A group of children are sitting besides a tall barn, listening
to their mother telling stories of old days. At the same time,
breezes are bringing old and familiar melodies from far away.
Above in the sky, the moon is playing hide-n-seek with clouds...

Title: KangDing love song

On a lovely night, a boy is courting a girl of his dream. He is
shy of her, and so is the moon in the sky. She is the best girl
in the town; he is the best boy in the town. The moon is their
witness. In some regions of China, singing now is still an important way
to express their love.


'Backyard Melody'

(Boy + Girl Chorus)
A stallion is galloping on the backyard hill,
A cloud is hiding in the backyard sky,
Moonlight caresses the backyard, smooth and gentle,
T’is backyard is my town,
Sleepless moon yoh - my sleepless town


(Boy)
Her name is Li, so pretty and like a pearl,
(Girl)
His name is Zhang, so brave and like a warrior,
(Boy + Girl Chorus)
Sleepless moon yoh – don’t be shy of her


(Boy)
My backyard girl; she is so pretty and fine,
(Girl)
My backyard boy; he is so handsome and strong,
(Boy + Girl Chorus)
Sleepless moon yoh - he is so handsome and strong


(Boy Chorus)
Pretty girl in my town, you drive me crazy,
(Girl Chorus)
Handsome boy in my town, I am here for you,
(Boy + Girl Chorus)
Sleepless moon yoh – I am here for you

continue...

Ever since Karen's boy friend come, I ceased the diary writing. Just want to spend the whole time to welcome them. Eating the Tofu and LuoBu soup together that Friday night is really like what Peter said, it's like the new year's eve :) Then go to the dimsome, enjoy the sunshine along the sea shore, watching the movies... really a happy time. Could see the care and love between them. Hope one day I could have such a guy beside my side. :)

Then went together with Queenie for her birthday, a very pure and gentle girl. Just like to see her smile and listen to her soft voice. She is very kind and considerate though. Hope one day finally, she can find her love. The dinner is quite nice. I bought a music candle for her birthday cake.(though Lei feel its too expensive as for a candle) but I really love this new discovery and my heart are dancing together with the music then. That's what money for I think, for buying the happiness. Not the gold that recognized by society.

Go to the conference the whole day on Monday. First time join such big conference. Meeting a lot of big bulls there. It's really very very impressive. Love the friendly academic atomosphere. But do feel need to learn a lot to be able to talk to them. Meeting an interesting and nice guy from UPenn. during the conference. Get a nice talk with him, and he invited me to see his poster there today. But I didn't go. Maybe afraid of seeing him? I need courage...

Instead, I go to celebrate Dan's birthday. Really feel happpy that he's happy in his birthday far from home. Could see his parents taking care him a lot. This make me missing my home...
Also, Karen's leaving today, and I feel very very sad, don't know why. Even she said she will come back next year, I still can't keep some of my tears. :( ... Hope she's good luck with the new change in her life, North Carolina :)

Ok, gonna to sleep and need to do some research tomorrow finally !!!

Class

Getting very sleepy now, but still try to wrote something before sleep.
1. So happy to see my friends' comments and comforts in the blog. they really support me alot and give the fresh to the fountain.
2. join the meeting for the founding of the Chinese Students choir in Vancouver. Feeling really inspired and proud to be a Chinese. Feel the urge to do something for it. Learned a lot from both the consulte and the teachers around. Meet lady Han, and she said "A person may not do a lot of things during his/her life, but he/she needs to do one or two important things for you and for the society to realize your value." ...... could tell more, maybe later
3. Attend a "Lawyer party". Gonna expose to so-called first-class social events. Nothing special, but still kind of amazing to find nearly all the people there are caucasion. People there leave me the feeling of "professional", even party, they are professional. :P

overwelmed by email

Suddenly feel that I spend nearly half of the time everyday to answer emails. Most of the communication now are counting on the email... Suddenly feeling very tired. Missing the time of paper mail...

spin off ...

Join a seminar for spin off company in SFU. First time join such event. The university seems quite supportive and encouraging to this issue. I'm really happy to be a scinece major. It's wonderful to see so many technology can be commercialized and benifit the society. Fred give a talk too. When they order the factors for success. Technology is rated only 3rd. Market and timing become the first 2, which is quite reasonable. But technology do matters. Most of the CEO had reasearch for 20 or 30 years. So right now, should do good on what I'm doing.

Went to Teacher Wu's home. Paper cutting is really fun. (I seems to have too much interest.) love the Chinese Celery with meet. They bring me the feeling of home :)

Met Yi online. She's growing really fast. Like her comments about potential, find a job that to explore the potential. Also hope she finally get her Mr. Right this time.

Talked with Irene about her supervisor again. To love what you choose is really earier to say than done. But never regret is another thing. We love to choose though it's always hard to make decisions. I am happy with my choosen now. Need to work on it!

A new week begins

The snowing flakes welcomed a new Monday! Although undergrades are busy preparing for the finals. I can still feel that Chirstmas is coming. Listen to a mini- concert at SFU theatre today. It is presented by FPA students ensemble. Quite a lot of very interesting music. Also had a mini- Nutcracker version. Tchychovsky. The songs are very humous and players are all very excited , singing loud and using different funny instrument. They also had a passionate conductor. That's the real enjoy !

Then later this evening get the Conductor Liu's invitation for the Christmas party at his house. Really hope one day we as a Vancouver Chinese Students Choir could have a good performance.

Finally get Arial's present today: A New York T-shirt. Looks cool. I like it. She said she also had a same one. As Irene said, we will feel connected when we wear the same :) Blessing for her, not to be too tired... hoho

Meeting supervisor tomorrow and also need to prepare for the US visa application...

Piano

Got a Electronic keyboard from Dana today. Very happy for that. Now I can try all those music now. :) Lalala...

Let's talk Science

Had a fun events for "Let's talk science" to welcome the coming Christmas. We had Sata Clause there, and light up the Christmas tree. We did some experiements about the balloon there. It's quite simple, just use the reaction between baking soda and vinegar. They produce some gases. I think it is CO2 . These CO2 in turn blow the balloon up. Quite simple idea, but it actually how we bake bread. I'm very happy to see that some kids are so excited with the balloon growing :) Still think I should be involved at least from some aspects of education. 　 By product here, Alex told me we can only have green and red for christams, so we had only green and red balloons. :P He is really a German. Haha.

Went together with Irene for helping cooking the dinner for Yaraslave tonight. It's amazing of his recovery speed, he now can move his left eggs and he can even swim now. All these attribute quite a lot to the power of science and technology. It really helps people in quite a lot aspects. For example, speeche recognition, automanous robotics(unsupervised learning compared with industrial robotics) ... ...

Now really feel proud and nice of being a science major. feeling the power of intepreting the world around.

Read also from BBS today that girl tend to be less romantic if they learned too much science, because they will become very rational ? Who knows, but I'm sure there are somebody, somewhere could understand the other sence of romantic.....

Weekends again.

People are looking forward to weekends. For example, my roommate as a working lady, she start counting the days even from Monday:P But for me, I always had the feeling of "oh, weekends again? " The week seems past tooo fast for me. I'm busy everyday, but when I counting the time for research, what I really should pay attention to, I feel guilty. :( Should pay more attention on research now.

Meeting Kim again, always had a good talk with her. Really hope we could be good partner in the research.

Went to Dana's fitness class. Like high/low dancing more, but always go to her class to show support. :) In some aspects, I thought we have something similar. what's that ? Maybe.... yeah, should be: the passion for life, and the spirit of never give up :)

Bought a new trouseres tonight when going shopping. A gift for me for no reseaon ;-)

Called home... listening the same words over and over again. But still love to hear! Missing them on this special season.

Apprentice

Watch the "Appentice" on TV again. Really enjoy it! Every game has there own rule. So is in business. But I belive wherever you end up, integrity and the respet of yourself/others will forever stay unchanged.

Bought some chocolate Almonds and a eye soother for myself today. Seems I entered this Christmas season with people around me here. :P

Try to think of and sing some Christmas songs with Irene on our usual day night walking time. Fun time to share!

Another famous ambiguous sentence: The man saw the elephant in the park with a telescope. ;)

Lots...

Just found out everyday I had a lot to write. This will delay my sleeping time unnoticedly. Quick review here...:P

1. Health is everything. Got the result from Biomedical check. Everything is normal. But not out of expectation, the iron is still on the edge of the lower range 29 (15-200). Untill get this heavy stomachache again, did I realize how important is a healthy life. Sleep early and get up early really works for the morning bird me.

2. It's good to be able to Communicate. Really like the brain storm with Kim today. :) I like to know if my master thesis could finally be useful. Hope the talk will be the same nice with supervisor tomorrow. +UUUU

3. call Ge and Zhaoyi today. Can't remember how I suffered as the same situation two years ago. Yes, really fast , 2 years. Remember one chinese saying: when you look back the path you have suffered, nothing is really storming or sunny there. (回首向来萧瑟处，归去，也无风雨也无晴)　So
I'm sure they will hold on until realize their dream. Hope Ge will also find herself along the way.

PS: enjoy the supper with my roommates. Enjoy the family feeling :)

One ambiguition sentence: "The man eating shark killed two people". ;) Fun of language, hehe.