A week again--- strong ^ vulnerable

Time flies, another week has passed by. Feeling quite pressurous this sememster, don't know why. Really hard for me to relax :( Although feel happy about the conference review thing, that's a big encouragement. But feel bad about research still, no no specific topic, maybe I should read more papers? Should stand on my own feet now. And the intership thing seems not going well at all. :( He want me to apply for TA. And tell mistakenly to him that I want to do PhD , and might apply other universities. Don't know if it is a good thing to tell. :( I'm really not in a good talking manner today or maybe I myself is too sensitive.

Kind of lost, lost , lost again. Ok, go to sleep now, to escape from the real world? Maybe yes, maybe no. Anyway, things will work out better tomorrow.

It is still hard to tell the feeling except here. Although such a moody mood, when people ask me how's it going? I 'm still sunny as usual and say "Tre bien. " Could feel hua is the same as me :P Strong outside and vulnerable inside.

Moody moody now. But tomorrow will be another day. Any way, I have the hope and that 's the most beautiful thing in the world, should have some flowers bloomed from that.

What if there's no Color?

Several days passed, everything's still the same, think I'm really anxious now. Dreaming of professor again, and I forget the meeting totally. Today , indulge myself in the website www.phdcomics.com .... Find the excuse for myself that because I finally wrote to Terrry and talked clear of the relationship today. Hope he would not be too sad. Actually, don't know why, I am also sad after that. Extremely moody these days... don't even want to write here , or can not write clearly here.

Record out something from yesterday's "Leader Summit":
Mr. Paul Huschilt is talking and singing about "7 humour habits", which is very interesting. Here is the list of Habits.

1. Take time to relax
Feel the real relax of body and mind.
2. Simplify your life
Make room for yourself.
3. Smile and laugh more
Because it release endorphins into your bloodstream and lead you to a better health.
4. the galileo principle
Look at things from a different point of view, you will discover something different.
5. Do something nice for someone
Because when you do an act of unselfish kindness, Immunoglobulin-A levels go up.
6. reward yourself
With what you like and feel like to do
7. dare to be you
The real privilege of a lifetime is to be yourself, especially as such a kind and special you.

It's amazing that, kids laugh 400 times per day, while adults laugh only 14 times a day. Yes, I should admit I laugh not more than 20 times a day, might be little bit more than 14 times. :P
But laugh is a best stress reliever and energy builder.

Something to go with this: ;) They had a FREE OFFER for "Weekly Electronic Newsletter: Paul Huschilt's Free Fluff and other Important News fostering Humour and Workplace Wellness". Simply email: paul@paulhuschilt.com with SUBSCRIBE in subject line. Newsletter arrives every Monday morning, reads in less than 60 seconds, and is intended to pick you up. I have subscribed and expected to receive it this coming Mondy. Na , you might want to try it? :)

Also indulge several hours in this website today www.phdcomics.com. But a good collection though.
Ok, a new week start, gonna sleep early today, welcome a new week.

C'est la vie

Had so many dinners with consulate these year, due to my associate with CSSA. Totally a different life. I should say people from a different status. See how their life look like. I can not say that I like it. Can not really find many interesting people to talk. It shouldn't be like this. Maybe I close myself first in such situation? Maybe still have the 'vinegar flavor' of the" poor academy" ;)) I don't know,there are some people that when I see them, I just really want to talk and know more about them. Some people, when I see them, I just want to shut up :-/ While on these kind of dinner, I always had the second feeling :P Just let it be. The new consulate looks quite Chinese :P BTW , she is a woman , haha, proud.

Taking French again, kind of hard. But since taking for credit, I will take it seriously :P Today when I saw Mariam and Akshar practicing French on their way back from the class. Feel kind of jealous, how I hope I can learn and grow with my guy. Why everybody else has a pretty boy beside, while I am striving hard all the way by myself ? Anyway, C'est la vie.

Met Steven and Jenny today. Jenny is quite a pretty girl. I think she with Steven are a good couple, they had ' something' in Common :)

Today's talk on 'education' again ignite my dream of IT in Education. I am sure, one day I will finally find my way!

Dec. 8 Conge

Finally made the Dec.8 Conge and shared with my roommate. Feeling like home. I know I am the person who will celebrate every holidays, just like my mom :P But just a way to enjoy life and maintain traditions.

Thanks for Dana's email, as she said, she is mothering me. :P Feeling happy talking to her and reallly appreciate all her care. Love her words about relationships: "you meet people that you really like, when you live the life you really like."I like my life in general now, except need more on research. :''> So a good sign :P

Hua send me a Japanese song, very relaxing, the song talking about missing someone far away. I love the melody there.

Did something wrong with Irene. since I want to work and want to stop chatting, but talking in a very not polite manner :( Need to respect more of her feeling in the future.

1st week done

Time flies , first week has passed before I even noticed. Just read Na's blog, and really touched.
There has been 8885 days since the day I was born! Amazing... What is happiness? Appletale told me that it's "也无风雨也无晴"．Still trying to understand.

Got start programming finally and find it quite hard after long time no touch for coding. But after the overnight work, got something for supervisor. Gonna be a hard semester. Research is fun in general for me. Should and worth put more attention. Still got the signature from supervisor for taking French. Sigh, too much interest as usual, just can not control. Need to use time more efficiently.

Really enjoy the "This is music" class, he taught so clear and nice. It's so nice to look back into the history of music. Just know that the first music instrument is .... hehe Human Voice. :P A lot of pictures and audio sounds as examples during his explanation. First time to see the organ. It's huge! .... Just love this course!!!! Decided to go to every class, it's good that it's an evening class. So I will have an enjoyable Wednesday evening this semester. Larry presented me a purple penscil which has the shape of Music Staff and a green one called jingle bell with the real bell on it. Neat idea. :) I should say thanks to him, it's he and Irene finally led me into the palace of music.

Heard from one friend, who now is studying for the certificate of English-Chinese translator, which sounds quite interesting. I will also look into it. Yes, so many different job titles there, just we don't know. Worth looking for more!

La Ba (Dec. 8th. Lunar Calendar) again, gonna eat some Multi-Conge. :~)

Deep sea in Vacano

Maybe Irene is right, I shouldn't write blog quite often. It's good to keep a memo of days passed by. but it also took a lot of time to do. Just a short list here . hoho.

Saturday
1. YaNa called in the morning. :) So happy to hear her voice and know that she regained her curiocity more and more, which is quite nice, make the life more enjoyable.

2. Went Dimsum with Larry , Brian, Brian's girlfriend sunny and Patricia. Sunny is not as I expected that excellent and interesting Chinese girl, she is just ordinary, and simple enjoy the life. But she might be a good match with Brian who is a very interesting and loving-life person. At least she make Brian more smiling now, I think :P Patricia is a nice but mysterious austrology, she and Larry are talking about new age, after life? Which is ... hehe, no comment right now. I finally gave Larrry that old-fashion violine. very happy that he like it. Then got a free Reiki experience from Larry. Can feel my worrying about life, but not very strongly. Telling him that I'm a banana flower. :P Bought one piano practice book from him, which makes want to play. Amazing that Larry had so many monkeys in his room, I even ask one "curious Geoge" from him :)

3. Went to the dancing party, happy that the friends enjoy it. I enjoyed the profeesional dancers show very much. Enjoy the beauty of the movement!!! Dreaming that I can dance like that one day :) Went first time to "night tea" in richmond. Chinese people seems still retain the habit of staying up and playing late at night. Not a healthy way though :P

Sunday:
First badminton in the new year, don't want to miss. So went there even with the period.
Saw the movie: vocano in the deep sea-- IMAX, which is amazing. Got to think that we are not only get the energy from the sun, but also from deep inside the earth. They create the live there. Really enjoy it, maybe will see more in the future.

Ok, go to sleep and welcome the new semester tomorrow :)

Big big snow

Big big snow today, very very beautiful. First snow in the new year, hope will bring good luck :)
Met with Fred today, and get a lot of work for the next week. Need to work hard. Reading, programming...could keep me busy.

But I myself kept listening this song "Big big girl ". spoiled myself in the sad tune there. My ignorance of Irene also worsen my sadness. Only because I'm still in my period?

Got some good news about my friends, one is accepted by GE, I know she is a strong girl.
Read Yana's travel blog to york town in UK. Feel very happy for her big change. Wish her a most splendid 2005.

Now had the strong feeling maybe I should also travel somewhere? But it's just pass the holiday. Anyway, very moody today... had another reason eating chocolate. :P

Hope tomorrow is another day!

good excuse to stay at home

Caught a heavy cold days ago, and it's getting worse today. No strength to be traveling or partying, so have to stay home, although really want to join Larry's birthday party. They are very interesting people to meet and talk. Finally get the time to clean up the mailbox for the welcoming of the new year :) It's really funny to read some of my past emails. Thinking it might be a great idea, if people can compare their past emails on same day last year or years ago, especially on some special occasions. Whom you are thinking of and what did you write on that special day :)

Sometimes, we do need the clean up, everything, goods, emails, even relationships. With the accumulation day by day and year by year, we gather the treasure as well as garbage, especially I'm the kind of person who don't want to throw away anything... But when it is too much , it become a burdon. Now I have more insight of chinese "She De(舍得)"， only when you give up something, you can have space for the new things. Maybe cold is a good way to clean up the body? ---at least sometimes :P
Suddenly remember Joe, happy to receive Joe's email days ago and I wish him all the best too.

Thanks for Michelle and Leo making the chicken soup for me. So sweet! Irene is supportive as usual. Terry also said he could make the chicken soup for me :P Good to know that so many people are taking care... make me living in a thankful heart.

Happy new year

A new start ! so definitely will leave some print here :)

I went to the vancouver art gallery today. They had a very good exhibition going on there called "Massive Change: the future of global design". It's really very inspiring. For me it is a very good motivation for research. It's amazing to find out how technology can re-design the whole world. :) And what I am doing now might be a tiny party of it. Feeling so strongly to come back to all the research papers and can really do something.

'Massive Change:The Future of Global Design is an exhibition that will change the way you think about design just as contemporary design is changing the way we live in the world. Design affects all aspects of our lives and holds the possibility of changing the very nature of human life itself. it ask us to consider the dynamic future of design culture and the real choices we must make. Massive Change is dramatic, engaging and critical, immersing visitors in a series of powerful encounters with the latest innovations in the fields of urban design, transportation, information design, revolutionary material and more.' (http://www.massivechange.com/)

Getting quite some phone calls and emails from friends, feeling very warm although I caught a heavy cold today. :P Called back home, know that grandpa had some heartattack recently. Hope to find some medicine for him here. Need to do good and value myself, since I'm loved
by so many people and have so many to love.

Decided 1st new year plan: Going to bed before 12:00pm everyday. Never stay up late. And get up early. Let's check it every day :)

Ok, go to bed now, wish all my friends and family members healthy , happy and be loving and loved in the new year!